Authentic

I have been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be "Authentic". I have this perfect picture in my head of the person I am striving to be. Everyone has a picture of the person they wish they could be. For me, that person is honest, compassionate, loving, kind, considerate, funny, joyful, forgiving, content and above all strives to be like Christ.

Of course that is an impossible standard to live up to. There are events, moments of time, that effect and define who we are. How we respond to situations are pivotal moments that will shape and mold our personalities.

Then there is the person who I despise. The women who looses her temper, who keeps a record of past hurts, who gets frustrated easily or who is impulsive. This woman I try to squash everyday and on a daily basis, she somehow always finds a way to rise to the surface.

Of course we do not just live moment to moment. We have a past. The past also defines who we are. Oftentimes I feel a battle with the woman I was, who I am and who I want to be

So who am I? When faced with adversity... Do I rise above and become that woman of integrity? Or do I get caught up with my emotions? Or do I allow the past to determine how I will respond?

Lets take a look at the word "Authentic" for a moment. Authentic means "not false or copied; genuine, real." I don't want to just look the part of a "Christian" who is doing and saying all the right things. What I desire is to be a "Christian" who's heart is authentically seeking Christ. I will definitely make mistakes, I will loose my temper and I will become frustrated. But I will also always strive to be a woman after God's heart. That is the only way I can see, that will help me to become closer to the woman I desire to be.

                                    "The Authentic self is the soul made visible"
                                                                 - Sarah Ban Breathnach