I can't Get no Satisfaction. . .

I have been so thirsty for more. I have thought I could quench my thirst in the ideals of what I wanted. Only to realize that I will never be satisfied. I have been trying to quench my thirst with mud instead of water.

There is a completeness to be had. A thirst that can be quenched. I just have been looking for it in the wrong ways. And maybe I have made a million different analogies for the same thing, but this is what is really on my heart. Christ is everywhere and is my everything. He is my water, and until now I have been so thirsty to know Him.

I will never be complete in the things or the people of this world. If I want to find complete contentment and joy I know where to go... and I am ready for God to rain down on me and engulf all of me.

Humpty Dumpty Heart

There is an episode of Grey's Anatomy where a Cardiothoracic surgeon takes a heart apart, removes a tumor and puts the heart back together again. They called it a "Humpty Dumpty surgery". Seems fitting. Take a heart apart and put it back together again. The heart can handle a lot and while it is a risky surgery and there is a huge chance you will die. But without it you are sure to die.

I feel like everyone meets moments like this. This year was mine. I tried to find my own fulfillment in a relationship. And found myself with a broken heart that needed to be put back together again. Love and life don't always work out as you may want it to. I found I needed to remove the parts of my heart that were like that tumor.

But How do you put your heart back together again? In this metaphor God is my Cardiothoracic surgeon. This time instead of putting my heart in the hands of a supposed loved one, I've decided to put my heart in the hands of God. In church today we talked about trying to find fulfillment in things we think will fulfill us. Only to discover we find frustration and anger in the lack of fulfillment we receive. I am tired... down right exhausted. I am done trying to repair my own heart.

God will not only fill that empty space where once a tumor was, but He will also put our hearts back together again so that the life we live is one that will be completely fulfilled.