Insights

I often times love to read of Winnie the Pooh and Christopher Robin. Here's one quote I love. 

"Sometimes, if you stand on the bottom rail of a bridge and lean over to watch the river slipping slowly away beneath you, you will suddenly know everything there is to be known." - Winnie the Pooh

My Year with God

In early August of 2012, I decided to spend a year with God. I honestly didn't expect much. I simply knew my life was broken and needed some revamping. What I learned, how my heart changed and who I have become are things that were far beyond anything I could have ever imagined. Here are a few things I learned.

God Wants All of You.

I am the most stubbornly independent person I know. I take pride and joy in doing things on my own. I often times can do it all with ease. What I have learned is God wants so much more from me. He desires a relationship with me.  If you have been following along with my blog, you will know that I hit some major life changes over this past year that were completely out of my control. My life came to a point where I had to decide; Fight to stay afloat (when I was drowning) or give it all to God. I chose to give it all to God. Every part of me. My life, my decisions, my future all to God. But above all with wide open hands I gave Him my heart. This is where I felt the change start and my life turn for the better.

"Return to me and I will return to you." 

Malachi 3:7

God is Speaking

I am the type of person who believes in miracles, with one stipulation: They never happen to me. I believed that God can do all things, just not with me or for me. Part of my year with God was focusing on reading the Bible everyday. And slowly, I heard what God was trying to say to me. As I read through the Bible I often times would run across a verse that meant so much to me it would change my perspective in a positive way. Then more frequently, I would come across those verses everywhere across the day, multiple times a week. I always wanted to hear an audible voice of God that would tell me what to do. You know, that booming voice fall from the heavens above: "JENNABETH - GO..." It was around this time that I realized that God is speaking to me in so many ways. I just needed to be ready to listen. He has a message ready and waiting for you. Perfectly tailored for your life. Maybe it might not be in a verse in the Bible. It might be in something simple like a perfect day or in a situation working out smoothly when you thought it would be hard. If you just keep those eyes and ears open and your heart ready, you will be able to hear what He has to say.

Life Isn't Perfect, Neither Am I, Just Come as you are.

Throughout my life I usually waited to talk to God. I felt like my life either needed to be perfect and I should praise Him. Or on the flip side, I would turn to Him when life was too hard. What I have learned is that God doesn't want us to wait for the stars to align and for life to be perfect or for our lives to fall to pieces. God wants so much more than just praise or prayer requests. He wants to be in a constant conversation with you.

Prayer

Being in constant conversation leads me straight into Prayer. Prayer should be constant and convincing. God wants you to speak with your heart. Just like in any relationship you have your highs and your lows. Truthfully, some of the closest moments I have had with God were when I was mad at Him. Its okay to show your true self to Him, that's what He wants to see,

Pray before: Asking God to go ahead of your day. God is with us, but it certainly can't hurt to know He will go before us, preparing each moment for us.

Pray often: Don't be afraid to pray while at work, in the shower, during a meeting. Keeping God in your day is important.

Pray quietly: Taking time to remove some distractions of the day and really truly seeking Him in moments where life won't distract is important.

Expectations
Have a Little Faith! God can do amazing things. Don't talk to God hoping He will come through for you. Believe and expect that God will come through. He can do HUGE things in your life and in the lives of others!

Read The Bible

Have you ever wanted a written manual for life? When the road ahead is divided and you need to choose: left or right? When you meet a nasty person and want to know how to deal with them? Well the manual is already written with lots of examples for how to get by. I can not even begin to tell you how often I read through the Bible and a single story jumped out at me that fit perfectly into my current situation. It was in those moments I could relate to God and begin to have faith that there really is more to the Bible then just stories.

"The Word of God is alive and Powerful" 

Hebrews 4:12

Gods Got my Back.

Don't worry about what lies ahead of you. When you're not certain what will come of your life and you feel like you haven't accomplished all that you have wanted. When things don't turn out the way you wanted them to... God might have something even better planned for you. I literally thought I had lost everything I ever wanted over a year ago. I thought all of it would bring me true happiness. The truth: I wasn't happy at all. I didn't even see how unhappy and lost I was until it was all taken away from me. It was only after I cut all of the bad out of my life that I could really truly find God and ultimately, happiness. I may not have all that I thought that I wanted. Rather I got so much more; A heart full of joy, full of love. A heart for God.

Listen, Hear, Say "Yes" and GO

Don't loose this opportunity. God is speaking to you. Don't be distracted by the idols of your heart. Prepare that heart of yours for God. The last week of my "Year with God" I took the challenge to be "unplugged". I knew that God had something to say to me. That I needed to quiet my heart. So I took a week off of Facebook, Instagram, anything with a screen that could pose for a distraction. I spent that time reading the Bible, in prayer, praising God, and asking Him to help me to "Listen, Hear, to say 'yes' and to go." I can not even begin to describe all that I heard. Take a challenge, spend a day just away from social media and all the distractions of our world to just be in conversation with God. You might be surprised for all the things He has been waiting to say to you!

Authentic

I have been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be "Authentic". I have this perfect picture in my head of the person I am striving to be. Everyone has a picture of the person they wish they could be. For me, that person is honest, compassionate, loving, kind, considerate, funny, joyful, forgiving, content and above all strives to be like Christ.

Of course that is an impossible standard to live up to. There are events, moments of time, that effect and define who we are. How we respond to situations are pivotal moments that will shape and mold our personalities.

Then there is the person who I despise. The women who looses her temper, who keeps a record of past hurts, who gets frustrated easily or who is impulsive. This woman I try to squash everyday and on a daily basis, she somehow always finds a way to rise to the surface.

Of course we do not just live moment to moment. We have a past. The past also defines who we are. Oftentimes I feel a battle with the woman I was, who I am and who I want to be

So who am I? When faced with adversity... Do I rise above and become that woman of integrity? Or do I get caught up with my emotions? Or do I allow the past to determine how I will respond?

Lets take a look at the word "Authentic" for a moment. Authentic means "not false or copied; genuine, real." I don't want to just look the part of a "Christian" who is doing and saying all the right things. What I desire is to be a "Christian" who's heart is authentically seeking Christ. I will definitely make mistakes, I will loose my temper and I will become frustrated. But I will also always strive to be a woman after God's heart. That is the only way I can see, that will help me to become closer to the woman I desire to be.

                                    "The Authentic self is the soul made visible"
                                                                 - Sarah Ban Breathnach

 

My Dad

I love my dad. He is the type of person who will jump at any opportunity to help someone. Even at his own loss or inconvenience. When I was about five years old I admired my big brothers so much. I wanted to do everything they were doing. However, life doesn't always work out as planned. When we were camping one summer they went off to do something only BIG boys could do, leaving me alone and left out. I remember to this day being really hurt and pouting about it. Back then, everything was hard for my family. We had very little money and very few treats like cookies or soda. Those were saved for special occasions. On this occasion someone had given my dad his favorite treat. An ice cold Coke.

The moment my dad saw the sadness on my face, because I couldn't go with my brothers, he got down on the ground and offered me his Coke. That was my dad. He cared about my every need, my every pout, my every scrapped knee. And often times I think my pain hurt him more than it would hurt me.

 “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" Matthew 7:9-11

Even though I have, what I believe to be the worlds greatest dad, I can't help but remember how much greater my father in Heaven is to me! He is there crying with me, hurting when I scrape my knee and willing to give me everything I need. How awesome is that? I am so incredibly blessed to have a God that is willing to sacrifice everything - even His son - just so I can love Him in return. Thank you God for loving me every moment of every day!

"God will be relentless in pursuing you." - Michael Davis 

****On a side note - I have an amazing mom too... but the symbolism of a dad and Heavenly Father seemed to fit better. I love you mom!****

Just A Snaptshot

I was recently asked; "What season are you in?" Often times we are in a season of waiting, a season of anxiety and hardship or even a season of moving forward. I'm not in one of those seasons. I am in a  season of life that is simply content. There is nothing I want and nothing I need. 

How cool is that? How often can you say "There is nothing that I need." Over this last year I have been truly blessed. I have formed so many new friendships, I've become a  part of a community of incredible people that I admire and who have been so encouraging. Most of all I have renewed my relationship with God. 

It is so nice when you wake up ready and excited to start a day. Or when I can't stop smiling at how blessed I am. The things that once were sources of frustration have not only become less frustrating but often times they have become sources of joy. Where I was once anxious, I am peaceful. Where I was once so hurt, I am restored. Where I was angry, I have nothing but Joy. 

I think back on the moments that I never thought I would or even could get through and I see it was simply a snapshot. It was just a picture or a moment of my life. It might not have been pretty, but it also did not last forever. There is a bigger picture that is so much more important. And when you put all these snapshots together we might just begin to see why all these other moments will get us to where we are going. I am so thankful for those moments because they forced me to dive into myself and my walk with God. I am not only content but I am happy and full of joy again! Its pretty amazing how God uses those incredibly awful moments to create a more profoundly amazing life.

2013 - A New Chapter

I am pretty excited about the start of a New Year. I have undergone a lot of changes, endured lots of experiences and made some incredible friends. While some doors have closed, many more have opened. The biggest being my own heart. Letting my heart be centered where it should be - God. 

I have discovered that every moment of your life, whether it be an event or a person you encounter, there is an ultimate plan. Even when you have faced loss, anxiety, pain or suffering there is no telling how those hard moments can be used to help others or to even help yourself. I am so thankful for the people who walked into my life this year. Most often without them even knowing that they have had such a profound impact on my own journey. I am incredibly thankful for a God who can see the absolute worst parts of you and not only love and forgive but can lift you up to be even better then you were before. 

Although I have had a lot tough lessons I feel so much stronger then where I was this time last year. I am refocused and ready for what life can bring. I am excited to say there is a peace and contentment that was lacking in my life. My heart is filled again.

 So here goes 2013! 

"So be careful how you live. Don't live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don't act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. Don't be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts. And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."
Ephesians 5:15-20 (NLT)